Friday, October 10, 2008

It's a Costume Stupid

Song of the Day-"Dress You Up-Madonna

I don’t normally think about Halloween 3 weeks early, but anything to stop dwelling on the stupid economy. And this Great Pumpkin picture my friend sent me yesterday got me in the mood.

My Halloween costumes trend eclectic.  My creations are generally very “punny”. I get a lot of “What are you s’pose to be?” inquiries.

For example, one year in Jersey City, our local establishment was having a Halloween Costume Contest.  We decided to go at the last minute.  I grabbed a large white plastic garbage bag and went to check it out. 

Just before the contest started, I headed to the bathroom to primp with a bunch of girls dressed to the hilt as the entire Strawberry Shortcake gang. Elaborate costumes that took weeks to make, hours and hours of makeup-every detail attended to, carefully perfected,

I put a hole in my white garbage bag, poked my head threw and headed towards the contest.

“What are you suppose to be”, inquired one of Strawberry’s cronies.

“White Trash”, I said nonchalantly.

The Shortcakes’ rolled their over-painted eyes and snorted.  They thought they were ringers for the contest winnings and I just boosted their confidence.  Needless to say, there was a minor protest and ruckus from the ‘cakes when I took the 2nd place prize.

Some other Pun with Halloween Costumes

Sand Witch

Dress up in black, pour glue all over yourself and roll in sand. Wear any other witch accessories if you’d like.  This ruined all the black clothes I wore that night, but it was worth it.

Blacked Eyed Susan

With dark make-up; completely black out an eye.  (I added “ make-up” because I don’t one anyone trying to punch out his or her own eye!)

Dress in yellow if you can and make some kind of head covering that looks like petals. 

Oh and get a name tag that says, “Hello, my name is Susan”.   The year I went as this, a lot of people thought I was the Statue of Liberty, I guess because of the flower hat and all.  Sometimes people don’t get it.  I guess we all can’t be on my train of thought.

Black Eyed Pea

Dress in all green; completely blacken one of your eyes. I wanted my husband to go as this the year I was a Black Eyed Susan but he refused.  

You could also pin a picture of Will. i. am or Fergie to yourself for overkill.   I completely believe in Halloween overkill.

More Dress Up Ideas

I never did any of these, but I think they are GENIUS!


Dress up in all blue.  Cover yourself with large mounds of cotton.  Carry a water gun. 

When asked, “What are you?” 

“Partly cloudy”, you say.

And then squirt them with your handy water pistol.

And say, “With a chance of rain!”  

Ziploc Finger Guy

This is from a few years ago; a finger character was as a spokesperson to close plastic bags in commercials.  Take a black market and draw a simple two eye dots and a half circle smiley face on your index finger. Dress normally. 

When someone asks what you’re suppose to be just put up your finger.  A little lame but good if you aren’t a Halloweeny person at all and get dragged somewhere last minute.

The Cereal Killer

And of course, the classic Pun Costume, we’ve all seen it before. Cereal boxes stuck all over your body with knifes and fake blood coming out of them.  Wish I had thought of this one!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Accepting Applications For Presidential Candidates

Song of the day: “The Politics of Dancing”-Re-Flex

"The Politicians Are Now D.J's" HA!

I’ve recently shifted sides a bit on the proverbial political fence.   But at times-I prop myself up on the fence, looking over at both sides and shaking my head.

It’s funny how the people you know react to the news of your new views.  Some are amused, like it’s a phase or something, you’ll grow out of it. Some are happy, embracing you with open arms, “I knew you’d make it, what took you so long?” And some are perplexed, even angry like “How could you do that?”

My husband and I were surfing the various cable networks last night after the so-called “debate” and we were AMAZED at the different biased each channel truly has.  It’s startling and scary.  

The thing is, you gravitate towards what you want to hear…listening/watching channels that share your views.  You keep hearing the same message over and over again, so you can shout them to others who don’t have the same outlook as you. And if they don’t have the same views as you, you wonder what is wrong with them; they must be awful stupid people. 

It’s so divisive, these politics of ours. I hate the HATE on both sides.   

It's like taunts on a playground: "I hate you, you hate me lets yell as loud as we can at each other without listening so we can get our point across and not even try to understand each other.   I don’t care what your candidate stands for; I only want to scream what I have been told by my fence-mates so that you and your poopy side of the fence people will go home."

This is MY dance space; this is YOUR dance space.    

It’s exhausting,  THIS is what we are reduced to?  The most important job in the land, and THIS is how we choose?

An article by the Associated Press talks about fact stretching shenanigans that occur on both sides. As I was reading it, a thought occurred to me…

WHY can’t a presidential contender fill out an APPLICATION like the rest us do as a  job candidate ???

Oh sure, there’s all kinds of stuff out there you can research yourself, but what side is it coming from, what is being filtered?  

I say, put the nominees alone in side-by-side rooms. Kind of like on police shows, when they use separate interrogation rooms.  Each candidate would have the same amount of time to fill out the application.  The form has to be filled out by the candidate alone, no spin master, or anyone in the room. The door would be guarded, and we could watch it on C-SPAN.  

When they’re done, we could compare and contrast the applications side by side; just like an H.R person does when Vodka Vinnie and Wendy Wineglass are applying for a job.

Sounds like something both sides of the fence could agree on. 

Monday, October 6, 2008

Words On Streets

Song of the Day-"Where the Streets Have No Name" U2

Tied with

"Takin' to the Streets" The Doobie Brothers

Lots of streets in the news these days, from Wall Street problems trickling down to Main Street to Madison Avenue trying to keep Fifth Avenue going.   It’s all got me thinking about the roads less traveled, the paths to personal growth and why the heck are there so many weirdoes on the streets of Seattle? 

Some streets are special to us. It’s funny how the mere sight of a sign can evoke emotions; provoke a saunter down memory lane. I have a montage of photos that contains a picture of Bleeker Street in NYC. A mere glance takes me back to the West Village for a second. And somewhere around here is collection of photos I took when a visiting friend dragged me on the Big Apple Tour of NYC.  Iconic streets like Broadway, Avenue of the Americas, 42nd Street, rouse up recollections for the masses; and some of us have our favorite personal corners tucked in our memory, street where your first kiss took place, where your first job was located, where you found the most peace.   For me-Fifth Avenue at 82nd Street-Home of the New York Metropolitan Museum, one of my favorite happy places. 

 New York-the land of landmark streets; in Seattle there’s streets I avoid, due to certain “elements” that lurk there.  It’s just a few odd little pockets all across town, and once you get the hang if it it’s a breeze strolling around.  Unless someone is walking towards you on the wrong side of the street.  Seems to be a Seattle thing too.  People walk on the wrong side AND don’t even bother to move.   Just FYI-to correctly be on right side of the street- always walk to YOUR right, and then you can never be wrong.  Something I picked up on the East Coast.

I find it a little comical that where I grew up, there weren’t any sidewalks in the neighborhood and yet as  a “grown up” I live in cities where without sidewalks, no one could walk around at all. 

Ahhh, the street you grew up on.  That’s good for the infamous“ What’s your Stripper Name Quiz”  (or is it Porn Star Name?)  Either way, take the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on, and Viola', there you have it.

Mine is Rascal Drake, what’s yours?  J